bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
