Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
