so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
