fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
50% drunk capacity currently
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
