I can text with my tongue
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Randomize
