he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
