i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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