omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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