Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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