We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
