All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
