whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Someone shit on the floor
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
