It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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