About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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