I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
