Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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