High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
