i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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