Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
