speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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