Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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