quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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