wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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