Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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