the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
