MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
try to milk me bitch
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