i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
