New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
