When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
