she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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