It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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