Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
