i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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