Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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