...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
