No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
