he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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