oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
