Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
