That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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