If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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