He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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