I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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