And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
smell my finger.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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