If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
