I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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