matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
