I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
