epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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