I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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